My Political Future

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We went from real men in the White House to a panty waist.  These pictures say a thousand words.

I am reluctant to talk about my meeting today.  First of all I must say I’m flattered about what happened.  A doctor friend called last week and asked me to have dinner in a swank resturant. He said there were a group of men who wanted to have lunch with me. Trust me I didn’t have time, but he is the level of friend I just couldn’t say no to.

I went and there were about ten of us. One was a past Speaker of the House. Two were ex-State Senators and the rest were ex-Representatives.  I got there early and the doctor was waiting. He wouldn’t tell me what was going down until the rest of the group arrived.  There was a bunch of hand shaking and howdies.  I knew a few of the guys and it seemed  like they all acted like they knew about me.

Ice tea for me, some drank stronger stuff. The doctor had hot tea.  I ordered a steak and some of the others got exotic stuff.  I noticed four pairs of boots and a bunch of broad smiles.  After the drinks arrived and chit chat slowed down the ex-Speaker spoke, “Let’s get down to why we are all here.”

I didn’t say anything, but he had my attention.

“Will, we need for you to run for the US House of Representative against Henry Cuellar in District 28.”

“Ouch!!!”   I thought. But I answered with a quizical expression, “Tell me more.”

“We have all been reading your blogs.  Doc said you have a clean background.  There will be no surprises when the race heats up.  You are what you are. Is there some hidden dark secret that we need to know about?   Have you killed a couple of people and have the bodies on your ranch?”

I smiled and answered with a question, “Does thinking about killing somebody count?”  I waited and continued, “I don’t know of any dark hidden truths, but I’m sure there are things that could be negative.  I was a rough house as a young man.  I partied hard and fought harder. I dated heavy and not all the girls would pass the Tide test.  When I trade, I trade to win.  Not all the people who I’ve done business with will sing my praises.  I never lie to make the deal, but I do try to come out on top.”

“Will, we know all of that stuff.  None of that can hurt you in a tight race.”  One of the House Members blurted in.

“Gentlemen.”   No sooner than those words came out of my mouth those at the table started looking around.  I got the point so I started again, “Men.  Is it okay to call you men?”  We all smiled.  ‘I am honored beyond words. I’m sure you know I’ve been asked to run before.   First of all this is a little late in the game to run.  Second I don’t have the money.  I know you guys would put together a machine that could take care of the money problem.  Please keep in mind I have no name recognition.  My pastor knows me, the guy at the feed store knows me and a few at the Dairy Queen do as well.  I’m not married and trust me the Democrats will come out with stories that I’m gay.  Being gay in South Texas will not endure a person to voters.”

I was interrupted. “Will, no one is going to try to say you are gay.  They can take one look at you and know.  In District 28 you can be well known in three months.”  This came from my doctor friend.

I frowned at him and then smiled to the group. “Perhaps I need to take another approach. I have a ranch to run.  I can’t see walking away.  Before I give you any hope I want to cut off the talk of me entering the race. I think Henry needs to go, but I’m not the man to take that spot.  Men, the drought almost put me under.  I had to sell off some prize livestock to keep afloat. It’s not much, but it’s mine and I’ve worked very hard to build it.”

The ex-Speaker spoke again.  He is not one to say NO to. “Will, perhaps all this was tossed on you too fast. Maybe you need to sleep on your decision.”

“Sir, in all respect to you, I have already been down this road.  I spoke at a TEA Party and got hounded to run.  I had some sleepless nights.  Please let us be friends, but I will not get into politics. It’s not my thing.  I write blogs and give my money.   I would be lost in Washington. It would take me six months to find the rest room.”

When they saw I meant what I was saying we went back to small chit-chat.  Let’s face it folks, I’m just plain Will, a broken down cowboy, who has no business being up there in Washington in a den of thieves.    Good night, Will <><


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