Kiss and Tell

Blog  Calf Roper

It’s none of my business, who sleeps with who.  I struggle to keep my private life clean and honorable. I try to do nothing my mom and dad would not have approved of.  If two women want to date I have no say over that. If two men want to set up housekeeping, what business is that of mine?  Women loving women and men loving men is as old as time.  The latest flaunting of sexuality doesn’t mean it’s new.  Campiness started in the 1960ies in New York City.  It spread to California and now we have Gay Pride Parades. 

I’m okay with the parades.  I wouldn’t stop and watch if one was passing by.  I don’t watch them on television, but neither do I watch NASCAR.   I guess that will come as a surprise to you.  I am red-necked, but cars going around in a circle have no appeal to me.  I have friends who know all the drivers and what the weekly standings are.   I’ve been to an Opera, I’ve seen the Russian Ballet and a Boy George Concert.   These three broke me from wanting to return to be punished.  I never understood a word in the Opera.  The Russian Ballet were men in long johns chasing each other.  I let a girl talk me into taking her to the Boy George Concert.  Which brings me back to Camp.  Boy George was Camp.  Over the hill gay. 

The president has vowed to remove the ‘Don’t tell’ policy in the military.  I defer to the generals.  They all think this is a bad idea. 

If you happen to be gay that is none of my business. I don’t judge you.  If you are gay and in the military then you owe it to your fellow soldiers to not flaunt your gayness.  Here is what the generals fear.  Imagine this senerio.  Twelve men are on the front line dug into a trench.  Two gay lovers decide to have sex in front of the other ten.  I know it would be repulsive to some of the young men who are not gay.  Me personally, I have never seen men engaged in an act of sex.  I was in Provinence Town, Mass walking down the street when I saw two men wrapped up like they were one. The taller guy slapped a wet kiss on the short guy.  We were in the middle of Main Street.  That was the nearest thing I’ve come to seeing male/male sex.  Neither have I seen two women together. I’m sorta old fashioned. I see it between a man and woman.

I think if the president allows open sexual relations in the military there will be problems.   The radical side of the Gay/Lesbian activists want the president to lift the ban now. They marched on Washington DC to force him to allow gay marriages and lift the ‘Don’t Tell’ policy in the military. 

I’ll make a confession. I’ve never seen a man I’d like to kiss.  I’ve never seen a man who I’d like to hold hands with.  But I do understand many men and women have strong feelings for people of the same sex.

A few years ago I was out Boot Scooting and discovered the cutiest little darlin’ to dance with.  We dance four or five times.  They were playing a slow waltz, not that I can waltz, but she and I were moving across the floor.  I got the feeling she liked me.  I know I thought she was as pretty as a new born calf in the spring.  Suddenly I felt something cold in my ribs.  I glanced down and a rather Butch looking gal was staring up at me. “Cowboy,” she said with firmness, “This is your last dance with my woman.  If you do it again I’m going to jab this knife into your heart.”   I knew she was speaking the truth.  I took the girl to her table and found me a new dance partner. 

Instead of worrying about the number of troops he is going to send to Afghanistan the president is caught up in the debate of allowing the military to have open gay relationships.  The president knows if he sends more troops his liberal base will be angry. The gays will hate him. They want the war to stop.  If he doesn’t increase troop size we might get defeated and that would be under his watch.  Who can he please?  Who will he please?   I think he will cave to the gay movement and allow men to kiss men and women to kiss women out in the open. I’m afraid he might capitulate to the far left and not send the 40,000 troops McCrystall is asking for.  I think Kiss and Tell is just around the corner.   

Will Cooper <><


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