Tonto

 lone-ranger and tonto

The Lone Ranger had a bi-lingual sidekick named Tonto. Tonto understood all native Indian languages and spoke Spanish as well. He was a pretty talented feller…knew medicine and could operate a telegraph.  The name Tonto probably comes from the Tonto National Forest in Arizona.   Tonto was the sluth who rode into town and found out what the evil banker or big rancher was up to.  Tonto was the Lone Ranger’s CIA.  When Tonto returned they spoke in whispered tones, all the audience got to hear was, “Here’s our plan.”  

Many of you know the Lone Ranger story, if not here goes.  Five Texas Rangers were ambushed and shot to pieces.  They were left for dead.  Tonto, the faithful Indian, stumbled upon the brutal murder moments after it happened.  One ranger was still alive. His name was Reid.  His first name is never revealed.  I can tell you this, he was not part of the Harry Reid side of that name.   Tonto dug five graves and took the wounded ranger to a cave.  He nursed the ranger back to health. 

The evil guy who sprung the trap was that dasterdly Butch Cavendish.  No one in Texas likes a back shooter, but that is what Cavendish was.  Later the Lone Ranger and Tonto deal with him. 

Tonto called the Lone Ranger Keen-O-Sahbee. It has been said if the Lone Ranger had found out what that meant it would have ended a good friendship. 

They needed a horse for the ranger to ride.  At one time there was a legend of a great white horse in Texas.  Books and stories were written about the wild white horse’s superior abilities.  It was said the white horse could pace faster than any horse could run.  J. Frank Dobie wrote of the pacing white horse in his book Mustangs.  The white stallion kept a remuda of forty mares.  He was the dominant stallion of the west.  What would be a better mount for the man who would save the west?   The brilliant Tonto devised a trap at the end of a canyon. The two manuevered the stallion and his mares into the neck of the canyon, driving them to the end where a pen was waiting for them.  As the story goes, the stallion walked over to the Lone Ranger and nuzzled his face. 

Tonto had discovered a silver mine on the Texas-Mexican border.  Why shoot lead when there was such an abundance of silver?  Since the white horse gleamed in the sun the Lone Ranger decided to name him Silver.  I have yet to learn why he would say, “Hi, Ho Silver, Away!”    I probably said Hi, Ho to my stick horse when I was a kid,  but come on, not even the Lone Ranger should be able to get away with Hi, Ho. 

The Lone Ranger never had to kill the bad guys, he simply shot the guns out of the crook’s hands.  I still listen from time to time to the Lone Ranger on Old Time Radio over the Internet.  It brings back those thrilling days of yesteryear.  (smile)

We don’t have a Tonto or Lone Ranger these days to deal with crime.  Yesterday a 17 month old child was mauled to death by a pit bill dog. This happened in California.  The Lone Ranger would have prevented this from happening.  Somehow he would have known and removed the pit bull dog when the baby was born.   In the news a 7 year old girl from Florida and a 9 year old from Missouri were kidnapped, raped and killed.  A 20 year old college student from West Virginia is missing and presumed dead.  In San Antonio two very pretty girls, ages 21 and 23 broke into a home and robbed a 67 year old woman.  The two young girls were college students.  An 18 year old San Antonio boy shot his 75 year old next door neighbor with a bow and arrow. The arrow went through the older ladies neck and she died.  It seems evil is on the increase.  I told you we are seeing more small things being stolen.

Now a bunch of you are all up in the air that Obama is going to Copenhagen to sign a treaty for us to give the rest of the world billions of dollars.  Look, even if he goes over and signs the climate change bill we are not obligated to shell out funds to every third world country that puts their hands out.  It would have no teeth.  The latest information I can find is he is going to Oslo to pick up his well earned Peace Prize and is going to skip Copenhagen. The two of them are going on at the same time.  Gorden Brown wants him to come to Copenhagen, but Obama knows Brown is one and done.  He doesn’t want to be seen hooking up with a loser.

Did I just say he didn’t want to be seen hooking up with a loser?   I forgot Biden is his VP.   Without question Biden is the most inept vice president we have ever had and there have been many.

Let me close with this story. Last week the baseball game in Denver between the Rockies and Phillies was canceled because of snow.  Al Gore couldn’t be found for comments.  Gore knows there is no global disaster but he doesn’t care.  He has already made over $100 million dollars off this scam.   America, what a country!!!       Will Cooper <><

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