Glad I’m Not Todd Palin

The Next President of the United States

Don’t get me wrong, any man with half a brain would love to have Sarah for their wife.  I think she is one of the smartest women around, in spite of what the left wingnuts say. Being honest she expected honesty from the press, but Charles Gibson and Katy Couric were more interested in making her look stupid than learning the truth. They set her up and edited the story to fit the image they wanted to project.  Neither of them can walk in her boots.  She is now an older and wiser girl if I may plagiarise from The Music Man. I think she is drop dead gorgeous, with an amazing smile and eyes that captivate.  No, I don’t have the hots for Sarah.  I like women much taller than Sarah. I also like unmarried women. (smile) She is now wealthy, which would be nice.  I understand she will earn about $14 million this year, give or take a few thousand.  I also think if she runs she will be our next president. You tell me who can beat her?  Not Obama, not any Republican.

As president she can open up Alaska and America’s oil problems would be solved. An executive order would do the trick.  She won’t be filing criminal charges against the people who are having to go a mile down to drill for oil.  Sarah will enforce the border.  I expect her first act in office would be to send the National Guard to the border in sufficient numbers to STOP the illegals. All it takes is will power. We know she has the courage of a mama lion.

Then why would I not want to be Todd?  I would be on death row by now if I were Todd Palin. When that creep Joe McGinnis moved 15 feet from my daughter’s bedroom I would have beat his face into hamburger meat.  Look, it may have happened much sooner if I’d been Todd.  McGinnis has a fixation on Sarah. He says he is writing a book, but he didn’t need to live in her backyard to do that.  He wrote a pretty derogatory story on Sarah last year and Todd let it slip. Then Sarah auctioned off dinner with her for a military charity.  Joe McGinnis bid $60,000 to win the dinner.  Now what regular news reporter has sixty thousand to spend on dinner? I can see a rich conservative supporter bidding $60,000 for dinner with the darling of the Republican party.  I’d bid $10,000 for a military charity to have supper with George W. Bush.

Have you seen McGinnis’ photograph?  He is a sour looking guy with a triple chin. Remember in Alaska they don’t have air conditioning, so in the summer people leave their windows open and it never gets dark.

Is it any wonder Sarah was upset to learn this jerk is going to be living next door till November?  If I were Todd I would have met Joe when he started to unpack and taken him to the woodshed. When I finished he would suddenly have decided to forego his deposit and rush back to Boston by the next flight out-of-town. Or if I had not been home when he arrived then when I caught him standing on his balcony looking at my wife mowing the lawn I would have paid him a visit. After he got stitched up I would personally escort him to the bus depot.

This slime had the audacity to call Sarah a Nazi on the Today show.  NBC promised Sarah they would read her letter, but they lied. So what is new with NBC?

Sarah and Todd should be allowed some privacy.  I understand the woman who owns the house next door to the Palins is a Democrat.  Nuff said.  Email: willcooper@senkarik.com

The First Dude

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