Home Alone

Only down by 11 (smile)

This is a big lonely house without my wife.  I miss her laughter and bright smile.

Today I went into town for a Dairy Queen. The old guys were at the back table and spotted me as I drove up.  I ordered a burger, fries and large vanilla milkshake. Lex will be happy to find I ate healthy while she was gone.  I joined their table. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many long faces.  They had heard about me moving and they each gave me a reason to stay.  Mostly it was the rumor of Chinese oil money.  My old rancher friend decided there was too much sadness so he asked me, “Will, did I tell you about the rancher’s wife catching him in bed with a young thang?”

I answered, “If you did I don’t remember the story.”

“Well, this rancher’s wife came home a little early from grocery shopping. She found her husband in bed with their cute little neighbor. With super-human strength, born in fury, cutting firewood, lifting sacks of feed and bales of hay, she dragged him down the stairs.  Getting a firmer grip she yanked him out the backdoor and into the barn. She jammed his manhood in a vice, then tightened the grips until they were painfully tight. She removed the handle, tossing it across the room.  Finally she picked up an old, rusty carpenter’s saw.

The beat up cheater was terrified.  He began hollering, “Stop, stop, stop! You’re not going to cut off my friend with that dull saw, are you?”

The wife, with a gleam of revenge into her eyes, put the saw in her husband’s hand and answered, ‘Nope…….You are!  I’m going to burn the barn!”

The old rancher slapped my leg and said, “I suspect now that you have a wife you won’t be bringing any beauties home with you while she is gone.”

I thanked him and tried to finish my food. I sort of lost my appetite thinking of his painful story.

Last night Sharron Angle cleaned the floor with Harry Reid in their debate. I loved it when she asked Harry, “You came to Washington from Searchlight with little money, but today you are one of the wealthiest men in Congress. How did you get so rich?”

I can tell her. He got a million dollars on a land deal for a piece of property that he had not owned in three years.  Three of his sons are Washington lobbiests and no doubt work deals with their father. Sharron is going to win that race and today the polls show Christine O’Donnell down by only 11 points. Two weeks ago she was down by 20 points.  She will end up winning in Delaware.

In Texas District 28 where I vote our guy took a big hit.  Democrat Henry Cuellar sent out two posters. One yesterday saying our guy was a convicted felon.  Which was not true. He had some problems when he was 18, but that was adjudicated.  Today I get one saying he is a tax cheat. That should make him perfect for Washington.  Most of Obama’s people are tax cheats.  The truth is he didn’t cheat on his taxes, it was a clerical error.  I checked both of these things out.  This is what we face against the Democrats. Right now we are running even with the Democrat here in District 28. I sure hope we can beat him. He has voted with Queen Pelosi on everything.

Will and Lady Lex

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